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Assuming Makes an ASS out of U and ME Event Date: September 7 - 10, 2009 Written Date: September 10, 2009 A few days ago, on Labor Day, The Wife and I were watching some bad television...and by bad, I mean Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer is such shit, it's retarded. I think I should eat paint chips to become smarter after watching his show. During the show The Wife and I were talking about the people on there, as well as the body guards and what have you.
Me: Remember Steve? The bald headed dude that kicked ass? So we continue watching and finally the show ends. What comes on next? That's right. The Steve Wilkos Show. The Wife instantly recognizes him and said "OH I REMEMBER HIM!" Alright, so anyways, it was about some baby momma and daddy drama. Nothing unusual. Steve pulls his badass-ness, but that's normal for his show. After the show, well, more like towards the end of the show, there was an ad for Steve Wilkos saying something like "If you're in a relationship that you don't know how to get out of, call Steve at" and enter his 1-800 number. Jokingly we both grabbed our phones. After flipping each other off and laughing, I said I wanted to talk to Steve and tell him he's a badass. What does The Wife do? Yeah, she called him from her phone. The phone rang, and she anxiously awaited an answer. Nope, it went to a recording, a voicemail, saying to leave your name and message or whatever it said. She left my name and I quickly hung up her phone. When it comes to The Wife, she's like me in the manner that you never know what's going to come out of her mouth. She already stated my full name, and didn't block the number. So she smacked me in a joking way and called me an ass and laughed. Fast forward 3 days. I received a text saying "Who's (Insert some girls name)?". Immediately following "Who's (insert some girls name) and why did you give her my number to get a hold of you?". Of course, I was at work when these texts came so I couldn't respond right away. Ace received a text that said "Where's Adam? I want to know who (insert some girls name) is!" I call The Wife the first chance I get:
Me: Who's (insert some girls name here)?
I had my suspicions that it was her ex trying to set me up because he sucks a lot of men off and was pissed that I stole his "love" away, or whatever. He's a bitch. After a few minutes, I was getting concerned because I didn't have
a text from The Wife, so I really thought that she was highly pissed at me. I receieve a text a few minutes later saying "lmao". So naturally I call her.
Me: What's so funny? So, as you can see, when you assume something of someone else, not only do you make an ass of me at first, but in the end, you make an ass out of you. Har har, I know, my pun wasn't funny, but it does hold truth. The Wife is still laughing about it. Maybe that's why she sucks at guitar hero right now? Kidding. She's getting pretty good. Yep, she's a nerd and I just embarassed her on my website. Fuck it. If she can't take a joke, well, I'll have to remove this from the site because I'm whipped. Shhh. Don't tell her ;)
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