A few years ago when the band had just started making a name for themselves, my roomate and I decided to have a party at our apartment for the band. We had invited all of our friends over to get drunk and do what all bands enjoyed doing. I had some people come down from Connecticut to join the fun, and did they.

I got home from work and helped my roomate clean up the apartment before G-Unit, Smack, and Thorn showed up. After the cleaning was done, I decided to make some oodles 'n' noodles and surf the net while I waited for people to show up. A few of the band members arrived, and shortly after so did the 3 from Connecticut. We all talked for a little bit and decided to start drinking because we were impatient.

G-Unit takes out a shot glass that holds 4 shots at once. At this point, my oodles 'n' noodles were almost finished, so I decided to toss the remains away and take the first drink...the drink being the 4 shotter filled with SoCo. I eagerly poured the liquor to the top of the shot glass and raised it up for everyone to see and be amazed at my drinking skills.

One thing I need to mention to everyone who reads this: NEVER EAT FUCKING OODLES 'N' NOODLES BEFORE YOU'RE GOING TO DRINK. Trust me, it ends badly.

Down the hatch the SoCo went. I was doing great, almost impressed with myself (during a previous party, I had chugged a half pint of Southern Comfort in about 8 seconds), and while I was at the very end of my shot, I hear Smack yell something.

Smack: When you get done, I wanna see you deep throat that shot glass

Laughter came out of every direction...including my mouth. Big mistake. I could feel my lung burning as the SoCo managed to completely travel down through the wrong tubes and right into my chest. I started coughing and gagging and I knew I had to get some place where I could vomit all of the contents in me out without having to worry about cleaning it up.

The only place I could make it in time was on the back patio. I turned around to open the inside sliding glass door, only to reveal that it had been locked for the first time I had lived in that apartment. Not really know where or how to unlock the door, I couldn't even find the location of the lock in the first few seconds. Finally I found it and slid it open to find the screen door had been closed as well. Alright, no big deal, I'll just unlock it and get to the safe zone. Nope, that didn't happen. Now, neither of these doors had ever been locked while I was living there, so I really struggled with the screen door.

I knew I was about to erupt an acidic stream of puke within seconds, and the screen door still wasn't unlocked. Finally I had decided to push my way through it, removing the door from the tracks and the screen cuffing my forearms, and then it happened.

A fountain of oodles 'n' noodles came out of my mouth and nose simultaneously and the sounds of the people behind me snarling in disgust. This went on for the better part of 10 minutes before I had nothing left in me, and the choking had subsided. Composed and relaxed, I went back in and started drinking some more.

After a few hours of drinking, Thorn decided she was going to go outside to her car and get something. 20 minutes had passed so I went outside to smoke a cigarette and find out if she was ok. As I walked down the steps outside, I saw her leaning over her steering wheel with one hand blocking her left nostril, and her head making a swift movement from left to right. She looked up at me in horror and quickly came out to explain that it wasn't what it looked like.

Now, I personally don't give a shit what anyone does in their own free time, but when you're in my home (or someone elses for that matter), and you're dating me, drugs just aren't cool. I reamed into her like nobody else's business. I told her to just get back into her car and drive home. Of course, that didn't happen. Instead, she spent the remainder of the night crying on G-Unit's shoulders because I was pissed at her and she couldn't understand why. I don't remember much else of the night because, well, I drank myself stupid much like everyone else at the party, but it was definitely a good time until the end.

Personally, I blame it all on the oodles 'n' noodles for all the bad that happened that night.

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